Pressure, Stress or just plain Paranoia

The workload of degree life is finally getting to me. Even though i didn't really helped much in the HEL assignment, i couldn't help but feel inferior to my peers who could score 91% in the HEL progress test. While some of u will just tell me to study instead of whining here but bear with me... please.

You may say that i expect too much but i really do hope i could match up with my classmates in strength and passion for the English language. I do love English with its use in daily communication and for reading it but i dont think my language proficiency matches up to my peers. Maybe i expect too much from ability or maybe i hope that i could achieve what i achieve during my foundation year. Being the smartest in class was always my thing and now i am not anymore. This really sucks!

For all my life, i have never be the first in anything or the best at anything everyday i would discover that someone else will achieve greater heights than i did. For once i really hope that i could be the best in something. I hope or hoped to be the best now i really don't know where i should be.

I should really stop to be the one stressed over results rather than enjoying the process quoting a song i recently heard by Miley Cyrus, ( im gonna be hated for this) " The Climb' it really strick me in the head. Its so true what she sings in the song and its exactly a reflection of my inner struggle. While some of you may think its a complain or whining from a person who self-admit that she has low IQ and has bad taste for songs but i don't care. I really think that this song is good and really gives out meaning than other songs.

Never mind the songs but i really hope that people will hear this. You may treat this as a ridiculous post but thanks for hearing me out anyway. Thanks^^

Sleeping in class

Here I am listening to my lecturer blabbering on and on about syllables ... n snap... my head droops n i fall asleep.. now trying to keep myself awake by typing in a new entry.

Monday is the day for phonetics... lecture n tutorial. God, its suffering.. n fun at the same time still its in the afternoon and the room is air-conditioned = very good sleeping environment..

This week i have a quiz consisting of 100 questions for HEL(History of English Language) n it covers 7 chapters... n the types of questions is different like True/False, MCQ n fill in the blanks.. i think its stupid i mean who still give fill in the blanks in univercity level but then again its a QUIZ well, it depends on the lecturer then.

I never really liked History so the quiz is going to be especially the lecturer is no fun old git...we call him the Devil since he teaches HEL... haha.. n we have to see him twice a week for both lectures n tutorials. Too bad for us since we are going to be roasted in the fire of HEL, Twice!!

Hope i can survive this course since the Devil himself said that he would'nt care if we go n complain to God about his doings.. so I NEED TO SURVIVE HEL... may GOD bless me..

New semester update...

Hi ya... sorry for the late update heres a back-to-back recallation of the weeks that I've been through...

Week 1- learn a brief intro of all subjects n elected new class/course rep(actually she volunteered... the guys in our class have no balls!!)

Week 2-went to first ever soft skill programme"speak up with confidence", learned a lot from Mr. Gerald Green , meet a lot of new friends.

Week 3- finally met Mr S** our intro to mass comm tutor, decides not to like him. Went to 2nd soft skill programme " Taking Responsibility-Take Charge", learned new term" bangau-ing" which equals to "making excuses n blaming others".

Week 4-Struggling to make sense of everything learned...

Week 5- Still strugglling...

Week 6- handed up first individual assignment ... many more to come...

Week 7- handed up 2nd indivudual assignment( Grammar journal) .. still lots more to go..

so thats the update.. sorry for the short entry but I have to go study for my HEL(History of English Language) quiz next week... see you guys next entry...